Doctor Whooves and the war of the worlds
by DrHooves
Summary: When the TARDIS lands on the planet Mars, the doctor must prevent a war between the ice warriors and earth...and hopelessly fails.


"Alan wrench." Ditzy handed the Doctor the strange tool. "So" said the Doctor, after he finished fixing the TARDIS. "Where next?"  
"The eye of Orion."  
"Oh, River. I've been there one too many times before, but I like the idea of going somewhere relaxing. We could go to Arcadia..." but he was cut off from the shaking of the TARDIS, until it suddenly stopped. The door opened, and the Doctor was facing a cold world, with icy glaciers, yet the cities were made out of stone. He was also firing squad of greenish, reptilian humanoids, their guns trained on the Doctor. "NOW!" yelled the Doctor. "That's putting the ice in ice warrior!"

"Where are we?" asked Ditzy, ask She, the Doctor, River, and a few other 'ice warriors' as the Doctor called them, were walking. They were on a polar snocap that reminded her of the crystal empire. She had never gone, but Twilight had told it to her. "We're on Mars, a few light minutes from Earth."  
"But Doctor, I thought Mars was red."  
"Alright, I'd better explain. Mars, like Equestria, and in fact all planets, has two poles. Because they face away from the sun, they grow colder. We're on the polar ice caps, where the ice warriors live, giving them the name Ice warriors. But what i'm wondering is why they brought us here. Why?"  
"Who are the ice warriors?"  
"The Ice Warriors are reptilian humanoids, their scaly skin and features usually hidden under heavy armor. They have large, claw-like hands on which are mounted sonic weaponry, and their voices are a highly sibilant whisper when on planets with non-martian like, due to the contrast of Mars's atmosphere to other plants. They have-or they will-invade earth, and make it more habitable for themselves. They are a warlike race, and should always proceed with caution when dealing with them. I've met-or fought, depending on your position-them before."  
Other ice warriors were walking the streets, staring at the new arrivals with curiosity. Surely nothing had been seen of this before.  
They walked to a great mansion. "That's the supreme lord's apartments." River Song, his other companion, explained. "He's at the very top of the ice warrior hierarchy. I don't know why they would call us here. That's what got me concerned."  
The Doctor walked up the steps and into the main hall, where the supreme lord was holding court. The Doctor looked up at the Supreme lord. "It's been a long time. When was it last we met? Seventh incarnation, on Peladon? Sorry, y'know, time space continuum thingy. Anyway. Why did you bring me here?"  
"Doctor, we intercepted an earth rover. Since you are the best person we know about earthling technology, we have decided to call you."  
"Where is it?" the supreme lord pressed a button on his throne, and a rover came rolling out of the room. The Doctor clapped his hands with excitement "It's the martian rover Curiosity! Oh, you are beautiful! What I would give to have one of those! What do you want me to do with it?"  
"We want you to scan it, to see if it has any armaments, or even a message..."  
"So, you just want me to check it out? Really, you should have sent a message..." the Doctor looked around the vehicle, and checked it out. "Well." the Doctor said. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the probe is still fully functional. The bad news is that it is still live streaming all the way to earth. Which means NASA knows where we are. I've shut it off for the moment, but it managed to get a good view of the room and it recorded the location. However, we've no reason to fear anything. Remember, this is the early 21st century, everything changes for humans. They are very suspicious about extraterrestrial activity, and they are not a hostile race, unlike the daleks. Act with caution, nonetheless. This is going to get hot. My first course of action is to maintain communication with them, so we can open up diplomatic negotiations."  
"Thank you Doctor. In the meantime, We would like for you to stay with us. We need your assistance in the coming months." The Doctor considered this. He then turned to River. "River, I need you to take Ditzy back to Equestria. This might get ugly." River and Ditzy stepped into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS dematerialized.  
The Doctor went to his apartments, where Curiosity came and followed him.  
The Doctor pulled out a two-way camera out of his saddlebag: if they could see him, he could see them. He also pulled out a two-way microphone, which doubled as a speaker, and transmitted both to NASA. Turning on the rover with his sonic, he spoke into the microphone "Testing, testing. This is the Doctor, transmitting live from Mars." A lot of static followed, but there was a voice the Doctor distinctly heard a voice that belonged to a human. "Doctor, we read you loud and clear." The Doctor responded "Get me Charles Bolden on the line. Tell him you've discovered life." There was some cracking on the other end of the line...  
100.7 million km away, A NASA worker ran inside Charles Bolden's office. "What is it now?"  
"Sir, it's incredible! They've found life with Curiosity!"  
"Have we established contact?"  
"Yes! Theres a man with this british accent-calls himself the Doctor." Bolden got out of his seat. "The Doctor? That old rogue? It's been a long time, i've wanted to have a chat with him." The bewildered NASA worker handed Bolden the line. "Doctor! How've you been? Tell me about his new species that you've seen." The Doctor explained at length about the ice warriors. "One more thing, Bolden-I need you to relay this info to POTUS, the prime minister of the UK, and UNIT, and also tell the prime minister that Torchwood is not to know anything. That's all." and the Doctor hung up the phone, so to speak.

The next day, the Doctor rigged up a transplanetary screen that was transmitting live from Earth, in front of the throne room. When he turned on the screen, Barack Obama and David Cameron were staring back at them. "Well." said the Doctor, as he left the room. "I don't think I'm one for politics, so I think I'll leave myself to my own devices." Going back to his room, he really actually had a device that was recording the conversation between the leaders of earth and the ice warriors. Once or twice, he heard the word Torchwood being uttered, but otherwise, it was all right to the Doctor. The meeting seemed to go over well. Time to go to earth, the Doctor thought. He called the TARDIS, and set the coordinates to Cardiff. Time to see what was going on on the other end of the line...well that was odd. His hooves had fingers growing out of them, and then, he was changing his body structure...back into humanoid form. He instantly got dressed in his fourth self's clothes. Looking at himself in the mirror, he had his eleventh self's form and appearance. He opened the door, and saw where the TARDIS landed. He was horrified...

The TARDIS landed in the thick of a war zone in the middle of Cardiff! Burning buildings graced the scene, Cardiff was a ruin, the millennium stadium sign was lopsided, and UNIT soldiers and torchwood operatives fought the unseen enemy. The sight of the enemy was even more horrifying, at least to the Doctor. Was it the Daleks? No. The Cybermen? No. The Autons? The Silurians? The Sontarans? No, no, and no. The enemy were none other than ice warriors.

An ice warrior ship flew down low and fired at the Doctor. It missed the Doctor, but hit the base of a pillar that the Doctor was standing right in front of. It would have crushed the Doctor, if not for a woman pushing him out of the way. "Thanks."  
"Don't mention it. I'm Gwen Cooper, of torchwood three. What's yours?"  
"I'm the Doctor." At this, Gwen's eyes widened. "Let's get back to the hub."  
At the Torchwood hub, Gwen showed the Doctor around. "Welcome to torchwood hub, the base of operations for UNIT and torchwood in Cardiff. And now, a stronghold."  
"What happened?"  
"Haven't you heard? The ice warriors attacked Earth several weeks ago. We have some cities, they have some cities, and it isn't a harsh war, but people are evacuating the cities."  
"Last time I was here, Jack Harkness was working in torchwood three. Where is he now?"  
"Jack...he was disillusioned by earth after the death of Ianto, and left, but I think he'll be back. Speaking of which, why weren't you there when the 456 invaded?" The Doctor felt a hard lump in his throat, and he grew hostile. "You've gone too far. You think that i'm always there for Earth. Sorry to dissapoint you, but I have the rest of time and space to deal with!" and with that, he stormed away.  
The walls shook as a missile exploded in the main hall, and the Doctor ran out of the hub, to see the ice warriors walking out of a craft. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" screamed the Doctor, Riled up already from his talk with Gwen. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"  
"More to the point, Doctor, what are you doing here? You defected, you betrayed us!"  
"What is this about? How come? Why?"  
"Let me explain. Soon after you left, the invasions came. Great flashes of light obliterated cities. "They came from the direction of earth. We had no defence. We had to retaliate."  
The Doctor is aghast. "Wha-" he knew torchwood was capable of such things, and thy operated separately from the government. He turned to gwen, who had left the hub. "Is this true, Gwen?'  
"Too true. Torchwood two fired a beam at mars. It was lethal."  
"How? That city is too precise to target." The delegate from mars continued: "However, the rover was intact. Upon investigation, it turn out it was a homing beacon for the laser." The Doctor swore. "So the rover was just a beacon. A target for torchwood." The Doctor paused, then turned to Gwen. "WHAT THE HELL!? Your planets could have forged a stable and healthy relationship, but nooo, Torchwood had to get involved, Torchwood had to be so sadistic, Torchwood had to be so aggressive! Protecting the earth, what a load of crap. You bastards are no better than Yvonne Hartman!" The Doctor's response was a slap in the face. "YOU DO NOT COMPARE US TO THAT BITCH!"  
"What, you'd rather have me lie?"  
"HUMANS!" bellowed the delegate. "This is not a question of blaming, but one of our people's future. We cannot allow more of this bloodshed to happen. Our civilians are in orbit on the moon. We have petitioned for a reserve, ruled by ice warriors and run by ice warriors."  
"I think the UN and UNIT can think of something..."

Two years later (relative to the ice warrior timestream) a group of humans and ice warriors were building structures, libraries, churches. On a ledge, the Doctor, Ditzy, and River were watching construction. "You know what I learned, River?"  
"What?"  
"I learned that even though your race and another race might be totally different, even if they are worlds apart, galaxies apart, light-yoctoyears apart, you both still have a will-an inviolable will, a will that can never be broken or taken away. Be you a pony, a time lord, a human, or an ice warrior, your species have this feeling, this will-that it will fight the rest of eternity for."  
"What's that then?"  
"The will to live, Ditzy."  
"Indeed, Doctor." and they all stepped into the TARDIS.


End file.
